journeying to a more natural way of living

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Dodging A Bullet (in February)
We almost bought a horse today (this was in February).

We did buy a horse today. But I unbought it. Cost me $250 to learn that I cannot take on a horse.

I laughed about it at the library the other day. Listing the mouths I already feed, the people (human and non) that I take care of; all of them reliant on me. And then added a horse and a mini horse to the mix.

And, oh god, I was ignoring all the warning signs. Signs that I should not be buying a horse. The near panic attacks. The amount of work I would have to do. I didn't balk at the cost of hay and feed because I could factor them in. And a horse would save me fighting my massive lawn! But the vet thing stopped me. I can stick my dog in the car and take it to the vet; I cannot do that with a horse. We live in BFE. A vet to come to the house is more than I can afford. And what if the horse dies, or needs killing? I had enough conniptions about having to kill a chicken, let alone shoot a horse. And then have to bury it?! No, I had to recognize my limits, humble myself into curbing my impulses, and be ever practical.

I had to be the grown up today and I stepped up to it!

There is so much guilt attached to it, though. I got my hopes up, the kids hopes up. I even rearranged our land and bought fencing and a grooming kit. But the horse we went to buy had a problem. A potential problem. I didn't have a vet look at her, I diagnosed her myself. And it was a problem that would require at least a thousand dollars-worth of surgery to fix. At least. And that was where the panic attacks and visions of dead horse needing burying came from. I wanted to buy her. Save her. Help her. I knew, as a good human being, that I *should* save her. But I didn't. I don't have that sort of money. To take on that sort of responsibility, when I know I can't afford it, is to be cruel to the other members of my family. A drowning man can't save a drowning man. And, if I stretch us any further financially, we will be drowning. So I walked away. Right before she was due to be delivered.

Sometimes the decisions we have to make suck. But - I feel like we dodged a bullet. I know I was right to change my mind.

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You did the right thing. You have only so many resources. I'm sorry that the horse was not the right thing but keeping one is so demandingly expensive, maintenance wise.

That was good of you. Best to have realized in time :)

Yeah, I've sometimes thought about getting a horse too, because you can pick one up insanely cheaply, like, £50 sometimes. But then I think, well, it's thousands of pounds a year in vet bills. In a good year. Yet more thousands in feed. Very very expensive hobby.

No sense saving an animal if you just have to have it put down or try to give it away because one cannot afford the vet bills.

So yeah, as others have said, unquestionably the right thing not taking it on.

yeah, she was really cheap. probably *because* of her problem. they didn't admit she had a problem, of course, but i grew up around horses. i'm pretty confidant in my diagnosis. but, either way, i have to be honest about my finances, and vets bills are something i cannot afford ever. shit, taking the dog to the vet one month strapped us and i could put her in the car and save the 3 hours of billing for the vet to come out here! so yeah, definitely right decision. i got the ride-on mower fixed instead so that i can handle the "lawn" lol.

A lot of horses just get abandoned here, when people pick them up cheap but then find out they can't afford them.

Vets have gotten criminally expensive in the last 10 years though. THe prices have increased exponentially. I can't see how one could have a pet these days without getting insurance for it.

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